It takes very little energy to shift a person’s point of view. The biggest challenge is not in managing “them,” but in keeping our own control issues and reactions to disappointment in check while together we look at what’s missing.

I met a young man named Mike who was enduring more external pressure than most people could bear. His business was in a tailspin, and he was in the dumps. What struck me about him was his courage and authenticity to tell the truth about what was happening to him. Business people so rarely tell the truth about failure. I was drawn to Mike’s openness.

Mike was a farmer. I knew nothing about agriculture. There was a world of cultural differences between us. Despite these differences, Mike was eager to learn from me. Because of these differences, I was eager to learn from Mike.

Mike and his family had suffered a personal trauma a few years earlier when his older brother was killed. At the ripe age of sixteen, Mike set down his video game controller and took charge of a large family farming business. He catapulted into the leadership role on the heels of tragedy. He didn’t have time to learn about the business or grow into a leadership role. He was not prepared to run a business of this magnitude.

Mike enjoyed many successes in his first decade. He put together ambitious deals, and for a time, he did well. But he’d unknowingly built a house of cards. He’d just learned one of the toughest universal lessons of business, that there’s a difference between building a business and directing workers and cash flow. The former is sustainable over the long term; the latter is not.

Mike was hurting and his emotions were raw. This was not the time for me to lecture him about mistakes. Instead I shared my failures, my family’s experiences with grief, and lessons learned along the way. I built trust. Mike listened intently (tap.) He drew his own conclusions from my stories (tap.) He questioned the principles and strategies he felt ready to apply (tap.)

Mike and I talked about the value of this approach to guide his performance. We both saw how effective it was. I came to call it Balloon Management.

A teacher once told me it was difficult to motivate students. The same is true in the workplace. Let your employees’ passion fuel their motivation from the inside. They provide the helium. You provide the overall direction and guidance from the outside.

They lift, you direct.

Canadian entrepreneur David Chalk is an anomaly. Had his future unfolded the way the school system predicted, he would have been institutionalized as a child. He had dyslexia and ADHD, which resulted in severe learning disabilities. Reading and writing were incredibly difficult for him.

At age twelve, David’s real learning began when his mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Knowing the world would be tough on David, his mother began preparing him for her imminent death. She had to figure out how to transfer important life lessons to him from her hospital bed. She was determined that his learning would outlast her.

Knowing that traditional teaching methods did not work for him, she relied on his strengths to make the lessons stick. David’s best skill is understanding how his brain absorbs information and processes it into practical, applied learning. He learns best not by regurgitating facts, but by drawing, building, and doing. From the depths of her love, David’s dying mother painted a picture of his future, a future that didn’t include her. Together they created his life plan to age thirty.

David knew his limitations. The school system had made certain of that. Becoming an entrepreneur meant he had to enlist people who were strong where he was weak (the essence of performance DNA, which we’ll cover in the next chapter). To engage them in his venture, he painted a picture of a shared future that was bigger, bolder, and more compelling than anything they could accomplish alone.

“I was fortunate to understand people from my mother,” David confided. “It’s not just about planning, and honestly, I’m not a big business plan writer or anything. What I am is a believer in people.”

Pure gold. What I am is a believer in people.

David created nearly twenty companies with his unique approach to business building. Several have been franchised, including Doppler Computer Superstores and a North American chain of big box membership stores that paved the way for the birth of modern day superstores.

“I spent more than eighty percent of my time working with [my people] as a possibility of the future,” admitted David. “I had them passionate and excited about their lives. It was like revving up a car at the starting line. The wheels are spinning, the engine is racing—the green light goes off, and that car goes flying down the track.”

I’ve witnessed this paradigm in other successful, high-growth companies. Businesses that start as an idea and grow to employ hundreds of people have founders who are aware of their own strengths and limitations and share David’s belief in people.

What’s the attitude toward people in your business? In my experience, most employers and small business owners expect people to let them down … and so they do.

David explained it best when he said, “The process of getting to the other end is my win. Them arriving at the other end is their win. We both had a win–win situation.” The philosophy of helping other people achieve their goals and dreams by helping you build your business extends beyond employees. As a brand, RYU Apparel Inc. is building athletic apparel in an unconventional way. It’s not about the clothes. RYU Apparel is building a business from a shared commitment to values. The respect the founders hold for customers, employees, suppliers, and lenders is reciprocated throughout the brand—Respect Your Universe.

Mountain Equipment Co-op (MEC) started by offering memberships to its customers. In turn, MEC inspired the growth of new manufacturers and suppliers. One member, Treya Klassen, started sewing garments for MEC from her home. When demand exceeded her capacity to produce, she invited her friends to act on their goals and dreams by sewing garments alongside her. Her friend Simon Levon soon saw the possibility of leaving his corporate career to drive more sales of Treya’s clothing line. They became business partners, learning about business and growing together.

In the absence of capital, Simon and Treya continued to apply the same win–win philosophy to attract the kinds of resources needed to solve problems and grow the business. They listened to discover common interests, from their first factory in Vancouver to expansion into China. By helping others, they helped themselves. The business grew each time the partners noticed their business goals and dreams aligned with someone else’s.

Research data collected from high-growth entrepreneurs shows they are open and willing to integrate other people’s goals and dreams into the pursuit of their business goals and aspirations.